Blushing - My Number One Anxiety Symptom

When it comes to anxiety there is one symptom that gets me down more than any other. BLUSHING! I bumble and blush my way through most days. Whenever I feel like the spotlight is on me, I immediately feel the dreaded warm prickly sensation. It happens so quickly and once it starts there is nothing I can do, my cheeks and ears start burning and when I look down at my neck and chest it's a horrible blotchy mess.

Most of my blushing takes place at work, particularly when I am in a meeting or talking to someone more senior to me. It's so frustrating as I really want to progress in my career but I am beginning to feel like my anxiety is a major barrier for me and maybe I am pushing too hard for a position that I'm just not cut out for. I've taken to wearing scarves and tops that cover my blotchy neck and chest but doing this is just getting me down. I feel like I can't be myself and it's eating me up inside.

My first memory of blushing was at my high school formal when I was posing for photos. In the photos I am red and blotchy, at the time I just thought it was an allergic reaction to the necklace I was wearing, but now I know it was because I was feeling vulnerable and self conscious. Throughout University my blushing wasn't too much of an issue, I had few contact hours and kept to myself most of the time. It only affected me when I was giving oral presentations and I didn't have to do too many of these. On my wedding day I dreaded blushing and resorted to sun beds to try and hide it.

Now though, my blushing has taken on a whole new level. It seems to have got worse since I had my first child. I am not sure if there is a connection there but these days someone only has to be friendly to me or ask me a question and I turn red.

And though it mostly happens in work, I've started blushing in all sorts of other situations - when I talk to shop assistants, when I am telling a story to my friends and pretty much whenever I experience any kind of extreme emotion (happy or sad). I feel like an open book, everyone can see exactly how I feel all the time.

I'm not sure what to do. I really want to progress in my career. I have always wanted to be a manager, yet now I question whether this will ever be possible. I don't want to have to cover up my blushing forever. When I set up "Project Feel Good" I really wanted to move away from fighting my anxiety and begin the process of accepting and understanding that it is just a part of me.

The problem is, I just don't know if I will ever be okay with my blushing.

I want to be okay with it. So today I am appealing for help, for suggestions, a little support... I don't have the answers on this topic but a problem shared is a problem halved, isn't that what they say? So I'm handing this one over to my wonderful readers.

Warm wishes

projectfeelgood@live.com
http://www.projectfeelgood.com.au

Holiday Happy Snaps

I'm back from a fantastic holiday with my little family. For me, one of the best things about going on holidays with my family is that I don't feel nearly as anxious. When it's just my family around me I feel loved and safe and I can relax and just be myself.

And when I'm relaxed and I slow down, I start to see things from a different perspective. In my last post I talked about the things that are going on in my life that have been stressing me out, the main ones being my work, my studies and our finances. While I was on holidays my mindset started to shift and I stopped seeing everything as an obstacle and started seeing the opportunties that lie within each of these things.

I went into the holiday feeling stressed and anxious and I came home feeling calmer, happier, stronger and more energized. It's amazing how much the body, mind and spirit can heal in just one week.

Now for some photos, I can't believe I actually took some!

On the River at Noosaville Queensland - a fantastic place for a family holiday

Meet my little family - Richie, Sophia and Me



Now that's a cuddle, best buddies



Yep Sophia is driving the boat!



I love this photo of me with my gorgeous girl

 Have you taken a holiday recently or do you have one coming up?  If not, maybe it's time to start planning!

Warm wishes

projectfeelgood@live.com
http://www.projectfeelgood.com.au/

Sometimes You Just Need a Rest

It's been two weeks since I last posted. You might be wondering, what's up? The truth is, I haven't been feeling all that good. I wish that I could always follow my own advice and keep my anxiety at bay but every now and then I have a flare up and the last couple of weeks has been exactly that.

If I step outside of myself for a minute and look at what has been going on, I can see that there were a number of triggers....

1. A string of colds and infections that really knocked, me, my daughter and my husband around.
2. I feel terrible to put the 31 Days to Build a Better Blog Challenge on the list but I have to confess, the daily tasks and my own desire not to miss anything, took its toll.
3. A major project in work with a fast approaching deadline and a few incidents where my judgment was questioned.
4. Starting a Diploma in Project Management after several study free years.
5. Financial stress resulting from an onslaught of bills, an increase in mortgage repayments and problems with our Irish investment property.
6. Cold wintry weather – not the be all and end all but you know when you get to the end of winter and you're just itching for sunshine, those dreary days can start to get a bit depressing.

I'm usually pretty good at managing my anxiety but sometimes when there is a whole lot going on at once I start to struggle. I get to a point where my anxiety takes over and I can feel it all through my body – I feel queasy, tired, irritable and, above all, I feel tense. I get incredibly stiff all through my neck and shoulders.
 
The good news is that the tension is starting to drain out of my shoulders and I am taking some time out to rejuvenate. And what better place to do that than on the Sunshine Coast in Noosa, Queensland. Yep I am on holidays for the next week!!!

On the wall of our holiday apartment there's a wonderful quote

My husband and daughter have definitely mastered this ... I am still learning!

Warm wishes

projectfeelgood@live.com
http://www.projectfeelgood.com.au

Reading Your Way to Happiness

It’s been a while since I've been completely swept up in a great book. It doesn't happen very often, but when it does – it’s such a high! A great book gives me a happiness boost that last for days.

With Summer just around the corner, today, I started to think about which books I'd like by my side during those long hot days.

To help me choose, I've been checking out some great book lists:




1. Angus & Robertson Top 100 List
2. Dymocks 2010 Booklovers’ Best Top 101 List
3. Oprah Winfrey's Book Club
4. Border’s Book Club
5. Australian Women’s Weekly Book Club

(1) and (2) are fantastic, they show the most popular books, as voted by the Australian public. The two lists are quite similar, with the Twilight Saga and The Harry Potter Series taking the top spots on both lists. It’s fun to read through the lists, I was surprised at how many of the books I have read.

I’ll never read them all though, there’s a part of me that would love to be able to say I've read the "100 Most Popular Books in Australia", but I know that it is impossible that I’d enjoy all 100 books and I made a pact several years ago that I would not read books just for the sake of it.

I know some books take a while to get into, but I’m just not in the business of struggling to read, reading is for pleasure. I used to look at books and find myself saying “I really ought to read that, it’s won so many awards.”

Not anymore.

My time is too precious. I’m very busy working, looking after my little girl, keeping fit and healthy, writing my blog and spending time with my friends and family. The little time I do get to read, I definitely want to spend it reading books that give me pleasure and leave me feeling good.

With this in mind, I've picked out a selection of books to give a go, this Summer!

     

What’s on your reading list? Do you stick with a book even if you are not enjoying it? I'd love to hear from you.


Happy Reading x

projectfeelgood@live.com
http://www.projectfeelgood.com.au

Trusting the Ups and Downs of Life

Argh! The last two weeks have been yuck. I went from feeling confident and on top of things to feeling overwhelmed, pissed off and grumpy.

What happened?

Well it all started when my 2 year old daughter became very ill with a virus, this lead to croup and then a chest infection. I had to take a week off work to look after her and with daily visits to the doctor and a clingy child, everything went out the window.

I didn’t make it to the gym. I stopped eating well. I neglected my blog and I got behind on all my “to do” lists. I started to feel like I was failing and losing control. Then the guilt set in... My little girl was unwell and yet I was more worried about falling behind on all my plans.

That was last week. This week, my little girl has bounced back and is up to her usual shenanigans :-). I have been trying to get back on track with everything but I have been fighting a losing battle. Of course, the inevitable has happened and now I have a chest infection! So yet again all my plans are on hold.

Yesterday, after being sent home from work, I decided I needed some help to pull myself out of the hole I felt like I was falling in, so I took out Doreen Virtue's Goddess Guidance Oracle Cards. The card that I picked was, Maeve, Goddess of Cycles and Rhythms.

Maeve's message was exactly what I needed:

"All of life is cyclical: the moon, the stars and the very universe. Life inhales and then exhales again. So why should you be surprised or upset that you too have cycles? There are times when you feel energized, awake and alive. There are other times when you feel isolated and shy. Your body too, goes through pronounced cycles and changes. Celebrate these rhythms and embrace them as the essence of the lifeblood that courses through you!"

This message transformed my thinking. I'd been too quick to judge the last two weeks as terrible. Life has it's ups and downs and whether you are experiencing joy or whether you are in the midst of a struggle, all of life's incidents have their purpose. It's natural to crave stability and comfort, however change is always there, the only constant in life is change. The more we can accept change as a natural part of life, the more relaxed we are and the more we are able to enjoy life.

To be able to trust the ups and downs of life is powerful. 

While I don't completely understand the reasons why I've been thrown off course over the last two weeks - I trust that there is a reason for it. Perhaps, I needed to learn that while I love to blog, the health and wellbeing of my family and myself is more important. It is ok to get sick. It's ok to take a break and lie on the couch all day with your little girl. Sometimes it's only when you're unwell that you truly slow down and take time out to replenish your energy and re-focus your mind.

I'm at home from work today and starting to feel better. Not just physically but emotionally. A little bit of time out really does do wonders. What do you do when you feel overwhelmed by everything that is going on in your life?


Warm wishes

projectfeelgood@live.com
http://www.projectfeelgood.com.au